Most people only remember the 37th president of the United States for the crazy shit that he said on those damnable Watergate tapes. And they were disappointing, if only because an accomplished lawyer who had twice argued before the Supreme Court should have known better than to record himself committing felonies. Every president, before and since, made damn sure to turn the machines off during their crimes.But I was discussing the crazy shit that he said on those tapes, wasn’t I?
Did Nixon say unflattering things about blacks and Jews in the privacy of his office? There’s really no denying that. But a few things should be remembered when considering his place in history.
First, he put more Jews in high profile positions than any president before him, including the first Jewish secretary of state. Second, he was likely the best friend Israel ever had in the White House. He had done what no president before him ever had, re-supply the Jewish state during a shooting war. Third, he created the first affirmative action program, The Philadelphia Plan, specifically to help African-Americans.
Then there was the odd personality quirk of Dick’s. The way he would say things was almost entirely dependent on who was in the room with him. If he was speaking to thugs like Ehrlichman, Haldeman, sometimes Kissinger and certainly Colson, things came out of his mouth that he would never think of saying in front of Bill Rogers or Arthur Burns.
Guess involved in every single racially controversial conversation in the tapes released since Nixon’s death? That would be Chuck Colson.
That’s not to say that the recent tapes aren’t funny. Some of them are a goddamn scream. And they prove that Richard Nixon had almost psychic powers. Here’s a talk with someone you might have heard of.
In one letter, he solidly endorsed the proposed Equal Rights Amendment to
the U.S. Constitution, saying that for 20 years, "I have not altered my belief
that equal rights for women warrant a Constitutional guarantee." The amendment
failed.
Yet in a taped conversation with George H.W. Bush, then the Republican
Party chairman, Nixon pitched the recruitment of pretty women in particular to
run for the party, after two caught his eye in the South Carolina
Legislature.
"Let’s look for some," he said. "And understand, I don’t do it because
I’m for women. But I’m doing it because (a) woman might win some place where a
man might not."
That’s right, Nixon invented Sarah Palin. Well, except for the winning part.But maybe the all time funniest – and a record in prophecy – was to come in January of 1973, after the Supreme Court’s ruling in Roe v. Wade.
Nixon is heard on a muffled tape recording telling his special counsel that abortion is necessary in some cases — including instances of multiracial pregnancy.
Speaking to Charles Colson after the January 1973 Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion, the president said: "I admit, there are times when abortions are necessary, I know that." He gave "a black and a white" as an example.
"Or rape," Colson offered. "Or rape," Nixon agreed.
Rape being an afterthought in a discussion about abortion might be the funniest fucking thing in the history of the planet. It’s almost as if he thought, “Oh, right. That.”
Now, Nixon was one of the grand masters of American politics generally and Republican politics specifically. He could smell both an opportunity and a threat. The question is what threat to the GOP Nixon could see in something as harmless and fun as miscegenation.
Oh, right. That guy. I'm shocked that Nixon wasn't really smart and attempt to intern community organizers. Or maybe he saw where his party was going and thought, "Fuck it."
And that, my friends, is why we should all get a Nixon tattoo on our backs like Roger Stone.
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